Where Did Her Passion Go?
When Barb read the words, "Others won't necessarily understand our passion for God's fellowship," she sensed the gentle, conviction of the Holy Spirit.
"Lord, why don't I set time aside to spend with You?" Barb prayed.
To her surprise, she sensed the Lord's reply, "Because you don't expect that I'll meet you there!"
Barb sat quietly, pondering His answer. She remembered James 4:8, "Come near to God and He will come near to you." This verse had always assured her that God was there when she sought Him. Why had she lost her expectation for God to draw near?
She remembered times past when she couldn't wait to spend quiet-time with Him. She'd rush home from work, grab her guitar and Bible, sit under the old oak tree in the front yard, and enjoy sweet fellowship with him for hours at a time. "Where did the passion go, God?"
God's gentle Spirit broke through to her with the words, "Disappointment. You don't expect Me to meet you in quiet-time because of disappointments from your past."
Barb sadly remembered the most disappointing thing in her Christian life--her abusive marriage ending in divorce. She had so hoped that God would save her marriage. As the memories flooded her mind, she was confronted with the real issue behind her withering passion for God's presence--hope deferred! She remembered Proverbs 13:12: "Hope deferred makes the heart sick."
"I certainly knew what a sick heart felt like but I had no idea that it would hinder my fellowship with the Lord," Barb said. "Tears streamed down my face as I poured my heart out to God. I was so heartbroken, Lord. How could I have experienced such failure when I had You in my life?"
God began to heal her sorrows, cleansing away the stain of failure and the apathy from her heart, restoring her to a place of sweet fellowship with Him again.
"Dear Lord, give us hearts filled with expectation that You will draw near to us as we draw near to You.
"So let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God. There we will receive his mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it" (Hebrews 4:16 NLT).
